Better late than never?

I don't know who said that. I'm trying to make myself believe it, though. When I was in college and I was having a hard time making myself leave my dorm room, I tried to convince myself that showing up to class late was better than not showing up at all. It never worked. Instead of teaching myself that it was OK to do things part way, which could lead to doing things most of the way, I let myself stay cocooned. Isolated. I lost touch with reality and fantasized that one day, I'd wake up and have all my shit together. No hard work needed. Just: Boom. No more depression, no more PTSD, no more anxiety, no more ADHD. But life went on around me. Friends graduated. Got careers. I stagnated. Got jobs. Went from relationship to relationship trying to find someone to validate me. Not love. Validation. And I didn't get it.